How I Got Rid of the Voices in My Head

How I Got Rid of the Voices in My Head

We talk to ourselves. We think through conversations we’ve had, TV shows we’ve watched, books we’ve read. We remind ourselves of appointments or that we’ve forgotten something. We prepare ourselves for difficult or complicated conversations.

But these voices will also beat ourselves up when we’ve done something the wrong way, made a mistake or caused ourselves to look foolish. They’ll also beat others up who we think did us wrong or forced us into a corner or acted inappropriately.

This is called “going negative” and depending how mentally strong you are, those voices can have little effect, or they can dominate and disempower you, force you off the court of action.

That’s exactly what was happening to me in the late summer, early fall of 2021.

A kind of PTSD was setting as the COVID pandemic was lifting. I was struggling to rebuild my client base as things returned to normal.

I had also spent a year hashing through my issues with a coach and a few seminars. If anything, all that work had opened Pandora’s Box, and my negative voices were literally driving me insane. Seff-doubt, loss of confidence and an evolving substance abuse problem were plaguing me.

I had learned one thing from all that work that I hadn’t mastered and then with my back against the wall, decided was the only remedy left to me.
I was going to silence those voices.

I have a huge fear of being seen by anyone when I’m not at my best. When I’m struggling with something everyone can see it. So, I literally locked myself up in my den.

One afternoon – and I don’t remember what triggered it – the dark voices started. “You’ll never be successful. No wonder nobody wants to work with you, you can’t even help yourself. Your age (63) is working against you.” On and on and on…

At that moment, I simply listened. The way you’d listen to the radio or podcast when you’re doing something else – making dinner or cleaning your house.

Eventually they calmed down and I went back to work.

They came back about a week later. Same routine.

At the end of September, one of my favorite clients gave notice. He was going to do another coaching program. One that was by invitation only. I realized all I had been was a place holder for him to progress to the level that he would be finally accepted into the other program.

I was devastated and the voices came running in. I was too tired to do anything and basically gave up and let them run their course. I disassociated myself.

I don’t know if it was 30 minutes, an hour or longer but at some point everything lightened up and I went back to work feeling refreshed.
That was the turning point. Simply ignore them. Don’t even listen. Go into a some sort of sleeping meditative state. DON’T LISTEN TO THEM.

Lo and behold, they appeared less and less until they stopped showing up.
They occasionally reappear when I’m feeling low or desperate. But now I know how to handle them and they disappear after 2 or 3 minutes.